Puja Gokarn
Who hasn’t been jealous of a best friend at one point or another? Saints and human contemporaries of saints! Ok, maybe people who are just really strong too. This time, I talk to you from a place of personal experience. This time, I talk to you as your friend, a friend who knows exactly where you’re coming from when you feel overshadowed by your best friend, or jealous of her because you feel like she is prettier, gets all the admiration, all the attention from guys.
So then how do you stop this nasty but very human jealousy from getting in the way of your friendship? Here’s what could help you with that:
[highlight highlightColor=”highlight-red” ]1. [/highlight] Check for low self-esteem
This is present in most cases, but probably goes unnoticed in some. When looking at what your best friend has that is better or how your best friend is better than you, you most probably aren’t looking at yourself or don’t like yourself very much. Find out things about yourself that you like. Work on things you don’t like. Train yourself to think and believe positive things about you. Obviously all of this is easier said than done.
[highlight highlightColor=”highlight-red” ]2. [/highlight] Narrow down to what you envy
What is it that you are actually jealous of? What do you think he/she has that you don’t? The perfect job? The perfect guy? The perfect love story? The perfect family or parents? The perfect course of study? The perfect hairdo, clothes, books or accessories? Once, you narrow it down you can think about what you can do to work on having that or whatever you want which is a contemporary of that. You can begin to see why you don’t have it and what efforts can you put in to have it. The excitement of wanting those things and having something to work towards itself is enough to take you away from the jealousy you feel sometimes.
[highlight highlightColor=”highlight-red” ]3. [/highlight] Turn to yourself
What are the things that you have and don’t see? I once told my best friend that I was really jealous of the relationship that she shared with her mother. She then pointed to the love of my life and simply said “Ya, but you have that, right?” Its true! Sometimes we see what others have and what new happened to others that didn’t happen to us so much, that we don’t see what we have. Writing it down helped me. It could help you as well. In fact, write it all down, what you have, who you are as a person, what are your likes and dislikes. The more you write down about yourself and your blessings, the better you will feel.
[highlight highlightColor=”highlight-red” ]4. [/highlight] Talk to your best friend
No matter how jealous we feel of our best friends, we obviously feel bad about feeling that way. And if we feel bad about even feeling jealous then talking to them about it is so far away, right? Wrong! They are your best friends – the people you would call and talk to about everything else. Then why not about this? Try it! You will be surprised at how much better you feel and how accepting and understanding they are.
[highlight highlightColor=”highlight-red” ]5. [/highlight] Love thy best friend
Think about how you guys became friends in the first place. Think about what brought you guys closer. Think about what you liked about them that made you pick them over the others and think about what you absolutely love about them or even like about them right now. Think about what they did and still do for you, what of yours do they put up with and still love you and how glad you are to have them in your life. This one works the most.
If you still feel envy, try all of the above solutions again, go have a drink or two and have a great time out or indoors with your best friends. Spend some quality time with them, have some fun with them. What are best friends for? Any tips of your own or experiences you might have for us or for our readers are always welcome. We would love to hear from you.
