The road to healing is surprising, and it comes to you in forms and ways that you might have never perceived. All patterns, forms, and ways that you have learnt over time get uncovered and you will discover new ways to react, communicate, and perceive things. There is so much learning in the process and it’s like a burst of emotions to connect and be in tune with your body, mind, and everything that healthily goes around you.
Growing up, so many of us pick up unhealthy ways of communicating our thoughts, emotions, and whatnot that it takes real courage to recognize those patterns, get up and decide to untangle the complicated ways of life. If you are on it or even close, I want you to know I am proud of you for standing up for YOU!
Here’s the list of five things that my therapy journey helped me uncover and I hope it pushes you too!
1. We need a connection
We are humans and we need connections. Seeking ways to build a connection does not mean you live in a world that is your own “strawberry land” or as often used by us, millennials, “clingy”. I have often heard people lending this advice that there is peace in solitude but the need to build connections should also not be considered unhealthy.
Being independent is important but when this need shifts to an extreme, it might be coming from past trauma or experiences that often trick us into believing that either we don’t deserve healthy connections or we are better off being in touch with any.
2. Your one “yes” to a definite “no” is self-abandonment
While some may disagree saying the tone of the above line is a bit of an overreaction, I say shut them out because this is the kind of advice you don’t need right now. All the lives we are told to be polite and sometimes agree to things that we strongly disagree with. This pattern leaves you in a loop of abandoning your feelings and isolating them without even considering it for a second. It’s not easy to get out of a loop when you have been in it for years. Start small by recognizing how a situation makes you feel and then be politely vocal about your opinion on it.
3. Communication is IMPORTANT
Have you too got a suggestion that sounded something along the lines “if they love you, they will know”? Well, I can’t begin to emphasize the fact how this one line does more damage to your relationships than anything else you do or say. Clear communication is all you need to maintain a healthy, happy relationship with anyone on this earth.
Keeping things inside because you think if you did matter, they did know turns to resentment. No one is capable of even slightly reading your mind and knowing what and how a certain thing makes you feel. It’s best to express your true thoughts and clear your mind.
4. Your thoughts are NOT facts
I think most of us can relate to this owing to our habit of not talking about things enough or simply agreeing we are over it because again, you did have to talk about it. Yes, this loop sounds weird and complex because that’s what it is. Most of the time instead of upright talking about stuff we keep it to ourselves and start imagining the worse things that could happen to us and while we are in that zone we often escape reality where all of this is not happening to us. Whenever you find yourself in a marathon of thoughts, try to bring yourself to your present state of mind and think in a reverse pattern to calm down.
5. Observation instead of reaction
Whenever you find yourself in a situation that leads to a flush of emotions, instead of reacting immediately or what you usually do in a similar situation, sit back and observe. This is not as easy as it sounds. When we observe how a certain thing makes us feel and how we react towards it, it leads to self-awareness. It also gives you the time you need to process what happened and come to terms with it along with a logical reaction.
The healing journey teaches us so many things about ourselves that we never thought existed. The best part is, there’s always more to learn about ourselves. If you are someone who is currently struggling, shoot your thoughts or things that therapy has taught you in the community section and keep the conversation going!