The thing about arranged marriages are that you can talk about the future within the first few meetings itself, unlike dating, where future is spoken of much later. So if you are, anytime soon, meeting a man via an arranged meeting for marriage, here are a few things you should talk about.
1. Speak About Yourself – And Be Brutally Honest
Because it’s okay to be! Because arranged is not about a guy just thinking about getting into your pants or having a little fun, it’s spending your whole life together! And if you’re not going to be honest about yourself, it is going to be extremely difficult to judge how compatible you two really are!
Discuss your dreams, aspirations, passions, what your goals are, what you love, what you dislike, what REALLY ticks you off and just about everything!
2. Your Idea Of Marriage
There are people who believe a whole lot changes with marriage and there are people who believe very little should change with marriage aside from the few necessary compromises. There are men (even now!) who would like to be the “man of the family” and want their wives to take on domestic duties and there are men and women who view both as equals. Almost everyone has a different take on marriage these days and you need to speak to each other about your own to make sure it’s more or less similar.
Once you’re done with speaking about the two things above, you’re most likely to get a basic idea on the compatibility between you two. If things are looking up, it’s time to get a little more personal.
3. How You Wish To Handle The Finances
Talking of money can be a tad uncomfortable but that doesn’t mean it’s a topic you avoid. Speak about how you two will manage finances between the both of you now itself to avoid awkward fights once you two are married.
4. The Parents & Their Role In Your Lives
Till a few years back, once a woman got married, it was her husband and her husband’s family that formed her primary family but times are changing. A lot of women now consider their husbands and themselves to be the primary family and then come BOTH set of parents. A lot of them also consider both sets of parents as primary family and not just the boy’s parents.
It’s also important to speak about supporting parents financially and in their old age. While the men have been doing it since forever, more and more women want to support their parents regardless of marriage and if you are planning to do it, it is essential to speak about it.
Last but not the least, it is important to also talk about whether or not you two will continue to stay with his parents after the wedding.
The question here is not just about having kids or not, it’s also about when. You may want to wait it out till a few more years or may want to plan a kid in the next 2 years. Whatever be the case, it’s important to discuss it because not being on the same page is going to create immense pressure and stress between the both of you and not to mention the major compromise that’s going to come with it.
If you do come from distinctly different cultures, don’t forget to have a word about how you want to raise your children, especially if you want your child to get the best of both your worlds.